Introduction, wedding and honeymoon

Hello all!
I have to apologize that is has taken me almost a month to write up a blog.
The last few weeks have been very full on and busy with sickness, organizing ceremonies, spending time with family, and getting married.
The last time I wrote in my blog I was requesting prayer for Aggie as she was sick with typhoid! Luckily after a day and night in the hospital she was on her way up. She was still a little bit out of it when she met my family for the first time (unfortunately she couldn't come along to the airport because of her sickness)
But we had a great time talking with my family, showing them around, and having them get to know Agnes a bit.

The week leading up to the introduction was very stressful! There were so many things to organize and so much running around to do.

To add onto the stress was all the cultural protocols that had to be followed! Culture can be god here sometimes, and often things that have only originated in the last 10 years or so, are considered cultural norms that cannot be questioned.
Getting married here means that you have to go through an introduction ceremony where gifts are brought to the brides family, and the man is officially accepted into the family.

The problem is that over the years the expectations on what should be put into ceremonies have gone insane.

You cannot expect to get married unless you have money here! It is a bit of an oppressive system, as many poor couples just cohabit with each other, without family approval (and often in shame for not going through the introduction and wedding) because they just cannot afford the crazy prices expected on them.

Luckily for me I have incredible parents who helped support me so we could do everything the proper cultural way, and be fully accepted by the community and have a 'stamp of approval' on our marriage.
Remember individual wants come second to community wants here.
Though we really did manage to do things fairly conservative compared to the crazy ceremonies some people do here!

Aggie and I budgeted very tightly and got away with spending as little money as we could get away with!
Usually friends and community contribute to help people get married here in Uganda, but one of the cultural struggles Aggie and I had (more so Aggie) was that not many people felt like contributing because they assumed (and outright said to Agnes in some cases) that I was white and therefore 'rich' and we didn't need help.
This hurt Aggie a little bit, who has always supported and helped people who were getting married. The truth is there is no way I could afford the introduction and wedding! I really do not have money to spend like this (I am a missionary after all) But this is where my parents, as well as a few faithful friends on both Aggie's and my side, came in to support us. I also have had lots of support from family and church family back at home (which I give my full thanks and appreciation for).

So the introduction went ahead! It was full of color and crazy dancing.
We rocked up at Agnes' family village at 12.30 midday (half an hour late), only to get stuck in the mud and wait in the rain, due to the wet season kicking in a few days before. Luckily it cleared up a bit, and two hours after schedule the ceremony begun.

It starts with my family, friends and myself (basically a small entourage I bring on my side of about 50 people) dancing into the ceremony and taking special seats reserved for us.
Then a few hours of greetings and dancing and different cultural protocols are followed.
Finally Agnes came out looking like a princes in her traditional Ugandan wear. Although I already had a headache from the blaring speakers and all the stress! I have to admit, if you don't mind me going a bit mushy on you for a second (don't worry it won't happen often) my heart did give a jump when I saw her finally for the first time.

After lots more dancing it was time for the aunties to come and find me. Up to this point, the groom is meant to be hiding among his posse, and the aunties go and find him. Everyone pretends they don't know who the groom is, but it is fairly obvious seeing as I am the only young white guy there.
After they picked me and screams of joy were heard across the function, I was then stood up, made to dance in front of everyone, and brought to a special seat of honor. I was then allowed to have my older sister Carlee on one side, and my best man, Farook, on the other, which was nice to have some familiar support.
My two sisters then did a special presentation, where they danced up to Agnes and presented her with gifts, and spoke on my behalf to her.

The rest of the day was filled with more tiring traditional protocols and strange customs, that for the most part, us whiteys had no idea about!
At one point I had to hold a giant roster and give it to Agnes' brother to ask for permission for him to give Agnes over to me (even though Aggie and I were already legally married). Farook as the best man was always by my side, and the person helping me out with everything. Farook had the job of grabbing the rooster for me and handing it over to me, to hand over to Agnes' brother. He just so happened to grab the most powerful looking rooster and there was a moment there, when the rooster started jerking and flapping, that I thought I was going to drop it and embarrass myself (and possibly everyone involved in the function .. that's how things go here).

Luckily everything went smooth and I survived the day. We also had a massive feast before we left in the dark!
It was a very tiring day, and stressful to say the least, but it was great to know the biggest and hardest part of this traditional wedding was over.
That night I collapsed into bed and slept very well.

Some of the crowd awaiting us.

Agnes looking like an African queen,

Carlee and Ashlee (in traditional dresses) pick out Agnes

Feeling a bit nervous

Some of my guests.

Agnes dancing her little heart out.

Handing over the rooster.

The new couple being introduced.

Photo taken of the family before leaving my home.

So that leaves me with the wedding.

The week before the wedding was mixed with joy and sadness. Agnes and I had a lot of beautiful moments spent with the family, as well as Andrew and Rachel who joined us on most things. Agnes started to get more familiar with my family, feeling comfortable in their presence and building the best relationship possible within two weeks.
The sadness comes with the fact that my pa (grandfather on my dads side) passed away in that week. My pa has been suffering from Alzheimer disease for a long time. His situation had deteriorated over the last year a lot, but he took a turn for the worse about a week before my parents came. It was painful to not be there, especially for Beppa (grandmother), and I especially felt for my Dad, as he was torn between the emotions of the death of his father, and the first wedding of one of his children.
Even through the sadness we found peace! We know that my Pa is resting with the Lord. I have a piece of writing that I wrote during this time to go back to family and friends at home. And perhaps in the days to follow I will post this piece of writing of remembrance to my pa on this blog.

Luckily the last few days leading up to the wedding I was able to relax with my family, as most things has been prepared. I also had some great friends supporting me, especially my friend William, who helped drive and do all the shopping with me for the ceremonies. And Ron and Anne who let us borrow their pickup to carry around all the huge amounts of food.

The night before the wedding Aggie and I were able to have a lovely meal at two friends with my family, and Andrew and Rachel (who were also adopted family members during this time haha)
It was so nice to be able to have one final meal with everyone before the big day set in, and the bride and groom would be to busy to sit and talk.

The wedding day started with beautiful weather, which was a real blessing because we had been worried about all the recent rain. I had my groomsmen come to my house as we all got ready. I was feeling nervous, but it was good to have my close friends Farook and Ivan there, as well as my brother Jirawatt, who were all apart of the groomsmen.
The groomsmen and I arrived to the church on time, but in true African fashion Agnes and her maids were an hour late, getting their makeup and hair done at the bridal saloon.

So us men nervously waited in the car. It ended up being ok though, seeing as many prominent family, friends and people didn't come on time and were filing into the church while we were waiting in the car. After an hour past the scheduled time, the women finally came, and us men did our walk down the aisle.
It was such a surreal feeling walking into that church! In true African fashion there was screaming and shouting and cheering and dancing from all our friends and family, as we marched in to the African Gospel choir singing away.

It was beautiful walking down and seeing so many close friends and loved ones from over here in Africa, so happy that I was getting married.

Then the moment we had all been waiting for as the maids and Agnes walked down the aisle. Agnes was walked down the aisle by her two brothers on both side of her, which was really nice. You could see that her brothers were both so proud and happy for Agnes.

The ceremony was really nice, and even though everyone was sweating like pigs in the hot church building, Andrew did a really good job running the show (even though underneath his suit jacket, he was swimming in a wet shirt haha)
Everything went fine, as we exchanged vows, rings and of course a big kiss!
Aggie did almost faint towards the end of the service though. Due to a combination of her not sleeping the night before, not getting enough to eat in the morning, wearing a very heavy dress, being in a hot church building, and recovering from typhoid, she almost collapsed. Luckily friends where fast to get her a seat and some water, as she sat down for the remainder of the service.

After dancing out of the church, and lots of photos with family out the front, we were whisked away to the source of the Nile for our wedding photos!

The reception was also a very colorful one, although it went on for some time. In true African fashion there was so much dancing, and many speeches. Of course it also involved some cultural protocols I was not aware of, and of course had to follow, with much laughing from the audience. In true Ugandan fashion, some politician came to speak who we didn't know. I was told we were so blessed to have a minister (politician) speak at our wedding ... but I really couldn't of cared less. Saying your a politician does not impress me, how you live your life impresses me. And seeing as we had no relationship with this man, I was not overly feeling the blessing (but maybe that was tiredness and the thought of getting out of the already going overtime reception ceremony)

Some highlights of the reception include long dancing gift lines, where people brought huge amounts of gifts to us, the yummy food, having some random guy that nobody knew sing a song in front of everyone while dressed completely as a women, and the Village of Hope children doing a few traditional African dances for us.

It was also a highlight seeing my family get up and dance to Dolly Parton (at least I think it was Dolly, and I am not sure why the DJ played that) and especially seeing my Dad have a dance.

The ceremony finally finished just as it got dark! And after giving our speeches, it was time for Aggie and I to say good bye to everyone.

So another 20 minutes of goodbyes and we were whisked away to begin our honeymoon. It was a sad time to say goodbye to my family, but joyous to be with my new wife. The words of Genesis rang true "A man shall leave his mother and father and hold fast to his wife". Especially as I hugged my parents goodbye, knowing I wont see them again for a long time, and went off to start my marriage with my new wife.

So it was a beautiful wedding, although a long one. It was great to have the support of all my family and friends. I thank everyone who helped and was involved.
God bless you for everything.

And now Aggie and I are relaxing on the beach in Mombasa for our honeymoon! I will write up a separate blog on our honeymoon another time, and just leave you with these wedding photos.

If you would like to see some more pictures, you can check out some pictures my friend Rachael took here.
https://www.facebook.com/rachsilvester/media_set?set=a.10152055493981526.1073741833.660496525&type=1