I have recently been struck by my own personal revelations, ones that have helped me see my own self and the people around me.
I could say that in the last few months I have been struck again by my own cynicism towards those who think differently to me, especially those with different theologies or doctrines that I disagree with.
My attitude towards such people can often be frustration, cynicism and a certain lack of love and joy.
I am obviously (and write-fully so) frustrated at the amount of works righteousness and devastating prosperity gospel thinking that is rampant here. But I have noticed that I can often let these overtly gross distortions effect my attitude towards smaller secondary and third issues. Any hint of something that may point to a different way of thinking, or towards some of the things I have mentioned, has me looking down at it with disapproval. Not to mention my own personal sneers at those I think do not have it right.
Yes I know .. what a horrendous attitude to have. But when you are constantly surrounded by these false gospels that are on a continuum of outright obvious to more soft and hidden, you can begin to be someone who is sniffing out any sign of something wrong. This can creep up on you, and it has been a constant battle to remain humble and remind myself that I do not have it all worked out.
Reading the scriptures daily helps, because I am constantly confronted with something in the word that does not always fit nicely into my 'system of thinking'.
Recently I have been struck by something I have looked at incorrectly, and although I carelessly had thoughts that I had it right, I have been struck by joy and a revelation on how wrong I can get things.
The local church that Agnes and I go to, has been getting together to organize a big gathering at their compound in a few Sundays to come. All the church's belonging to the abundant life church's of Uganda gather once a year and hold a big celebration, where singing, dancing, preaching, fellowship and eating are all enjoyed. This year the local church Agnes and I go to has been nominated to host the event.
Nothing wrong with that I can hear you say! Why would I not be keen on such a thing. Well my judgement begun with the fact that the church is very small, and although the other abundant life church's have been able to host the event in their building, our local church needs to rent and hire big tents and lots of seats to be able to host everyone. Of course this costs quite a lot of money to do, and along with raising all the money for equipment and food for the day, the church is is up for a lot of expenses.
As a result each Sunday they have been gathering together to try and desperately raise this large amount of money that seems way over the top.
So in my western, logical and efficient mind (as I try to kid myself) I see a church of very poor people spending money on a one day celebration, and I start to question them, thinking it is very irresponsible. What about using all that money to help the poor, or the sick! How can they use their own money on such a thing, when they can barely pay for food and medicine for their own families. How irresponsible!
And just like Judas getting upset at the woman who poured perfume over Jesus' head, and claimed that it could of been sold and given to the poor, I too put my nose up at the idea. I was even thinking that if they want to waste the money, I wasn't going to contribute towards it! I would rather help people by spending my money on things like long term sponsorship's and medical costs for sick people! Not one day celebrations where the money disappears and is gone all at once.
Yes .. what an ugly attitude. As I said, you would be surprised at how easily cynicism can catch up on you, and to be honest it almost feels like cynicism is the spirit of our age, especially in our western culture, where we critic everything.
But thank God, that He sends messages and guidance to his children in many different forms, to help soften their hearts and open their eyes.
For me this came in the form of one of my favorite Christian writers of all time, C.S Lewis.
I have been reading Lewis' apologetic works for a while now, but last Christmas I was given his fantasy novels in the full set of the Chronicles of Narnia.
Yesterday I finished the last of the seven books 'The last battle'. Oh how glorious it has been to get lost in the adventures of Narnia, which are so full of wisdom and reflections on real life and the Christian faith.
One of the beautiful aspects of Lewis' writings is the way he captures joy in the Christian life. This is not a cheap 'chipper' joy that is often found in prosperity sermons and based around having no problems. So often his characters are put through trials and sufferings by Aslan (the Christ figure in Narnia) to help them grow in character. And the warnings of being attached to the riches of this world are all throughout the chronicles of Narnia.
But the overwhelming sense that Lewis gives throughout the Narnia books, is that despite the hardships there is great joy to be had in this life! This is not a picture of a sacrificial Christian life where one has to be somber all the time due to the great need in the world.
No, the characters enjoy great feasts, fellowship, times of exciting adventure in Narnia's nature, laughter around a table and the enjoyment of friends and companionship ... all with the blessing of Aslan.
These times of joy and enjoying great feasts and celebrations are often dotted throughout and in between the trials and suffering. What a true reflection of the faith walk. As John Piper says about the Christian life, while reflecting on Paul's writings, we are 'sorrowful but always rejoicing'.
Another defining aspect of Lewis' work, is his ability to create wonder and imagination of the possibilities of heaven and the new earth. He helps you see reflections of heaven in the everyday! The joy which awaits us in the new creation is enough to make you burst when you imagine it.
And if you have trouble imagining it, then I suggest you read Revelation 21, followed by the Chronicles of Narnia.
Often my reformed theology can lead me to great love towards God, as I wrestle with meaty questions and deep philosophical concepts. A systematic reformed theology has often helped me in the part of 'loving your God with all your mind'.
But oh how deadly indwelling sin is! How like sin it is to take something good and twist it into something prideful. And how true has this been for those of us in the reformed camp, and those who think they have 'good, correct theology'. So often because of my studying and knowledge, if I see something that seems less intelligible, or not inline with what I think is biblical, I can be fast to throw it out or condemn it in my heart. But a closer and more careful look may have me realizing that it is perhaps 'I' who is wrong, and there is much still for me to learn.
And although there are beliefs that Lewis had that I may not hold onto, and might question (his views on creation/evolution, the atonement, and hinting at the possibilities of some people outside the faith still being justified) and that I also do not want to hold him up as infallible, he has still helped me greatly in seeing the beauty and joy in life.
If reformed theology has been a great help in 'loving God with all your mind', then Lewis has also contributed towards 'loving God with all your heart and soul'
And so now I bring this all back to the celebration service at the church, with new Narnia colored glasses on.
These people want to celebrate with their brothers and sisters in Christ and worship God together. They feel honored to be able to host the other church's, even if it means they all need to come together and sacrifice to contribute towards the celebration. These are not wealthy people spending huge amounts of money on themselves with no care for others. This a community of very poor believers, who often sacrifice for each other and the needs of their brothers and sisters. But this is a community of very poor believers who are saying "Right now we are looking forward to a time of joy and celebration"
And who am I to question them and say that it is unwise to spend the money this way. Who am I can to hold an attitude of cynicism at those who think differently to me.
And do we not gather as a people of Christ, to worship, sing, eat and laugh, all to point towards a greater picture of something that is coming.
Isn't this a picture of the final great wedding banquet, when us poor beggars, who would give anything to join in that final celebration and joyous occasion, finally sing and listen and share and laugh and feast and shout in bursts of joy. When every tear is wiped away, every pain is gone, all poverty is replaced with riches and blessings and where Christ Himself sits and feasts with us. And to realize that it is all by grace that we are there! That no one at the great banquet table deserves to be there, but that everyone who is seated is greatly valued because of the great love of God. And that every single soul at that table was chosen to be seated there since before the foundation of the world.
Why, the thought of that is just about enough to take away any cynicism.
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