Back into daily life.

It has been an interesting week, full of all the little challenges of daily life here that can wear down on you, and keep you needing to refresh yourself and rely on God.

The last few months have been a testing period for me in the way I respond and react to lots of the issues here. Many times the corruption of government officials, scandals and lies of many people in the community, and the conman using the church to make money, has taken its toll on me.
I can find myself getting very impatient and even bitter towards many of these issues, and also towards individual people.
I constantly have to remind myself of Grace. That I am a recipient of Grace, and therefore I have an obligation to also extend it.

It can get hard, when you are surrounded by greed and corruption. Of course you can begin to be blinded by these situations, and you start zoning in and focusing only on those negative things in the culture. And then you can tend to overlook all the beautiful, God given aspects of the culture that are here.

The last thing I want to do is become a bitter old missionary, who is distrusting of the local people here. I would rather be someone full of love, joy and grace. Giving others the benefit of the doubt.
The great thing though is that there are many very helpful people here. God has given me some very trustworthy, and fantastic friends, and people here who help me see through a lot of the other junk.

Agnes and I have had to deal with a lot of government officials recently in trying to apply for her passport. It can become frustrating because many people here, who have the slightest bit of power, seem to like to use that power in a way that bullies you and treats you as beneath them.

Many people in Uganda just accept this "Big Chief" mentality, and remain quiet and allow people in authority to say and do what they want. But perhaps it is my Australian culture of "giving all a fair chance", or that old rebellious spirit inside my that used to speak back to teachers and police men (and I am certainly not saying that is a good thing) or perhaps its just down right ugly pride in my heart, where I feel like I shouldn't be treated badly and have a right to stand up and bite back.

The problem with getting a passport, is it means you have to go through many different officials before applying with immigration. Many of these officials want a bribe, just to give their signature (something that is supposed to be included in their job anyway)
We also had some trouble with the DISO, who basically deals with checking up criminal records etc. All we needed was his signature, but I swear we went to Jinja about 4 times just to try and get him. He was rather out of the office, or they were not happy with a tiny detail with our documents (including that our file had a little tear in it, and was not good enough for application)
We suspected they were being tough like this because they wanted a bribe, but we wouldn't budge.
At one point we went in the morning, and the secretary said he was in a meeting, but we should come back in the afternoon for the signature and it would be no problem. Agnes had to work that afternoon, but they said it was fine for myself to just come in, seeing as I am her husband, and that it wouldn't be an issue.
So in the afternoon, I went to town, in the pouring rain, entered the office, only to find a different secretary.
This secretary told me, with no sympathy, that they were refusing to give me the signature because I should of come with Agnes.

I got a little bit upset about this, and mentioned my frustration at the disorganization and lying from the staff there. Of course, that didn't help in anyway.
All the frustration kind of came to a peak at that point, as I expressed my 'disappointment' to the secretary. I really shouldn't of gotten upset, it was the wrong thing to do. And many times these people love to assert authority over you, and if you stick up for yourself and have a go at them, it doesn't help in anyway.
It also didn't help that on the bus ride home, I had a crazy guy hitting the back of me and making jokes about white people, while the rest of the bus was laughing at me.

I had a bit of anger in me that day! And I wasn't happy with my reactions to people. The last thing I want to be known for is someone with a hot temper, but it all kind of came to a boiling point.

Lucky for me right now my marriage is a bit of a resting, and safe place. Agnes keeps me calm and always helps to put things in perspective.

Often we feel like we should stand up for ourselves and bite back when people treat us badly. But I have to look at Jesus and the way he responded to people who mocked him, and even tortured him.
He didn't feel the need to fight back, He knew justice would come. I think that helps put things in perspective, that God is a God of grace and justice. That because we need grace, it empowers us to have grace towards others. And because in the end, justice for what needs to be rectified, will be put in place.
It leaves us, as followers of Jesus, to be able to extend grace, and not feel we need to throw justice onto others who hurt us.

So the next day I went with Agnes to give it another go. Luckily Agnes always keeps me calm in these situations. I was much quieter and gentle this time, even though people in the office were taunting me and asking me "why I wasn't getting upset like yesterday, and have I been put in my place?" I didn't bite back, remained calm and just smiled at people.
Eventually we got the signature. But not before the DISO looked at Agnes and I, and shouted "You are wasting my time" before he slammed his office door in our face. Why?
Because a simple mistake his secretary made (you have to bring in your original file, plus two copies, the secretary gave him one of our copies instead of the original, which we just swapped and gave to him within 2 seconds .. a lot of time wasted)
Sigh... these people can be difficult to deal with. We managed to get our file with the signature though, it was thrust and thrown out of the office doorway, before the door was slammed again.

Such lovely people.

Interestingly, the immigration officer, who is the final person you see, and is usually the most strict, was actually the kindest.
He was very friendly and helpful, and was interested in hearing what Agnes and I planned to do with living arrangements, if we would choose Uganda or Australia. He also gave me good information to help me acquire my own visa. So that was a breath of fresh air.

We also managed to get Agnes' passport with out having to bribe anyone (well, we did give someone, who was a friend of ours, a little bit of money who helped us to get one of the signatures .. but we offered it to him to buy him lunch .. does that count?)

So it is done. We have gone through all the trauma we need to. In 3 weeks Agnes should have a passport.

I have had a few moments this week that were touching! which helps balance out the hard stuff.
Right now Farook and I are profiling the new girls for the next tailoring course. Again many of these girls are very poor, and many are ex child brides whose husbands have ran away. Many of them are very dirty and own barely anything.
When we profile a girl, we know that we have chosen them, due to Farook doing background checks on them before hand. So we are just collecting information for their sponsors. But many times the girls don't know this, and you can see the look on their face as they try to answer the questions as carefully as they can.
You can see they are almost on edge, wondering if they will be allowed into the course.
It is always such a good feeling, looking into the eyes of these girls, and telling them that we have accepted them.
It must be a huge thing for them! A young woman who has been sitting at her home struggling for many years, with no opportunity, finally to be given a chance to enter a short course.
It is actually much bigger for them, then we could realize. And it always feels so special to be the bearer of good news.

I think of the previous tailoring girls, and how they were all so scared of me and very intimidated when we first interviewed them. And now they can come up to me and slap me on the back as a joke, before cackling and laughing. Many of the tailoring girls came to my wedding and introduction, and I have really seen them come out of their shells and gain lots of confidence.
Also the fact that teams from Australia have come to visit them, it seems to have boosted their confidence in themselves.

And now I look at these new, quiet and intimidated girls that I am profiling, and I think the same thing. I look at them and say in my head "in a few months time, you are going to change so much, you are going to be so much more confidant in yourself"

Farook and I did have an interesting experience the other day though while profiling girls. We have been trying to get a few girls from the new location we will be moving to. This is partly so we can start making a name for ourselves in this community, and to make friends. Many of the women here are desperate and in need, and the three we managed to get from this area where all ex child brides.

After profiling and talking to them, a local person came and summoned us to go and see the LC1, as he wanted to meet us. The LC1 is basically a local chair person who is at the bottom of the rank. LC2 comes next, followed by the LC3.
LC1's don't have a huge amount of power here, but even so, to pay our respects, Farook and I have been trying to introduce ourselves to this man over the last few weeks. We have tried about five times, but he has never been home.
Well now he was summoning us, so we went to his house only to find him stagger down his steps, with his shirt half undone, and a bottle of Waragi in his hands (the potent local moonshine here). He was very obviously drunk, and he stunk of alcohol.

His immediate attitude to us was hostile, and we could straight away tell he was trying to assert his authority. It was clear he wanted a bribe, as he was clearly drunk.
He started acting as if we were intruders and wanted to know why we had not consulted him. We explained (with a very clear stance that we were not intimidated) that we had tried to pay our respects to him a number of times but he was never around.
We told him who we were, and that we had purchased the nearby land and were planing to build a youth center in the community.
He then wanted to see 'our documents' because we were part of an NGO and we cannot just come into his community uninvited.
He said if you are coming into the community to help you need to present documentation to the LC1, and he then proceeded to show us an irrelevant piece of paper from a few years ago, that had been sent out to all communities in the Jinja district from the government, about water projects.
I took my cues from Farook, who was obviously not buying any of it from this man.
Interestingly the LC1's whole attitude completely changed half way through our conversation. After I got fed up with his drunken breath on me as he tried to assert 'Authority', I told him we were a part of Uganda HopeBuilders, a reputable NGO here, directed by Robert Kafeero, and in good standing with the local police, and government officials. As soon as I said this the man completely switched gears. From here on in, he wanted to be our friend, and said he just wanted to get to know us so he can protect us.

HopeBuilders has a very good reputation here, and especially Robert Kafeero, so just mentioning the names seemed to put the man in his place.
So he let us go with smiles and handshakes. Farook and I were not impressed, as you can not really come out staggering drunk as a local official and try and demand respect.
What is interesting is that the LC1 had actually signed on one of the official forms to show that Robert Kafeero has purchased the nearby land for HopeBuilders.
Not only that, but Farook and Robert Kafeero had actually seen this LC1 a few weeks ago to discuss about the land, and Robert K told the LC1 that Farook and myself are in charge of what is going on down there on the piece of land.
Farook mentioned this to the LC1 and through his drunken haze, he started remembering.

We certainly want to pay our respects to local leaders, and we want to work with the community leaders as much as possible. But it is difficult when you have a drunk who is just after money. Luckily we have made friends with other local elders in the community who helped us find these new girls. It was just the LC1 who was trying to get a drunken bribe.

Anyway .. I was talking about grace at the start of this post hehe

The last few weeks have also been hard as well, in regards to people asking for money. I have had a number of friends in desperate need, including someone with a hernia who needs treatment after his operation, a friends wife sick in hospital with ulcers, a friend whose son fell into a fire, and needs treatment for his boy, someone who was in an accident on the road and has spent lots of money on police to the point that they don't have much food at their home, and then this morning a family I am close to had a nephew die, and they are desperate for transport money to get to the funeral of their beloved one.

Many of these people are close friends, and so of course I feel I have to help them .. but it can take its toll. Agnes and I will be scrapping through this month, due to the amount of people who have needed help from us. Many times after giving money, I tell myself "I am not helping any more people with money this month".
Of course when a pleading friend comes to you, its much harder to actually say that.
I certainly do not have a habit of giving hand outs and money to people here, as I think that it can do more damage then good. But the people approaching me this last month, have been close friends, and so you feel a pressing on your heart to help.

It can be difficult here at times that's for sure. But I do thank God He has given me a great wife, who helps me remain calm and see things from different angles.
I certainly need to keep myself close to God. If you become undisciplined in your own personal devotion time, all the weight baring issues of living here can grind down on you.
It is very helpful to have a God to be able to hand these worries over to! And trust in His provision.

So a difficult week so far! But never a dull moment in Africa.

Setting up camp

Aggie and I have been setting up camp the last few weeks, as well as getting back into the work of YSU.

After getting back from the honeymoon we spent a bit of time organizing our house, we needed to buy some things from town and set up a living room / kitchen area.
I think Agnes is pretty happy with her new home! We really are living pretty easy here, and sometimes I feel guilty. It is nice being able to have a fridge and a gas cooker! And Agnes is enjoying her new kitchen!

It has been good to get back into the work of YSU as well. Farook, Aggie, Beatrice and myself have had a few meetings where we have discussed where we want to move towards from here.
As the tailoring class has finished we want to look at options for the girls to set up there own coop, with the supervision and guiding of YSU to help them on their way.

We also have the agriculture boys soon to finish their course as well.
I have started running bible study classes again, and also small devotions with a group of guys.

I have had a lot of young people approaching me in the last two weeks asking for help in making films. The group of boys I was working with had their movie played on a local tv station here, so of course all the youth are going wild with the thought of making a movie to be on tv. I just have to manage it well, it is impossible, and probably not helpful, to just say yes to every young person with a film idea.

Otherwise we look forward to the rest of the year. Farook and I have started looking at the HopeBuilders YSU block of land and trying to come up with rough ideas on how to layout the block of land, before getting a proper design made up.

We also hope to try and make a name in the community we will be moving to.
It will be very strange moving to the new block of land, because where I am now everyone knows me, and it really feels like a sense of community. Down on the block of land near the lake, I am not as well known, and there are a lot unfamiliar faces there ... even though its only five minutes away, it will feel like a move to a whole other community.
The lakeside community is also a lot poorer and rougher as well. There is a lot of poverty there, as well as an abundance of drugged up youth (which means its probably a good place for a youth center then). Whereas the place I am in now is surrounded by NGO's, school and community projects, the lakeside community is pretty devoid of any NGO presence.
There is also really no church there either, just a lot of poor people, youth gangs, and a mosque with a reasonable Muslim presence.
I am really interested to see how moving into this community will pan out due to all these circumstances, but Farook and I decided we should start helping youth down there already, so we can build a bit of a name in the community before we move in. We have also spent time talking to local leaders and elders in the community just so they know who we are.
It feels a bit like moving onto a mission outpost in the jungle! Which is actually very exciting, I love the the idea of that. The lake view is also so beautiful. I know Agnes is a little apprehensive of moving down there though, seeing as its far away from a lot of things, and also because of its rough reputation.
But we will trust God in the adventures ahead.

I had the privilege of hosting my friends Kat and Marc from Australia last week as well, which was nice. It is always good to see faces from home, and being able to show them around my Ugandan community is great. It's always fun taking a friend up to the top of the nearby mountain and riding down little bush tracks on the mountain bikes as well.

We have been getting lots of rain lately, and as a result our power has been getting weak. Our cable that connects to the main power line running along the road is very loose, and sometimes needs the electrician to whack it with a big stick to get the power moving again.
We woke up last Thursday morning to only a small amount of power, so we called the electrician to come tighten our wires. The problem was that a hive of bees had made their home in the power pole, right in front of our cable that was connected to the line.
After climbing the ladder a few times and getting stung on their faces, the electricians were feeling a bit apprehensive about it all. So I did a bear grillz and got my bushman hat, draped some mozzy net material over it, and suited them up with my big blue jacket. I also made a smoke stack to try and calm the bees down, which I was impressed with, but no one believed me would work. The Ugandans just wanted to use mortien fly spray instead.

The ladder was not long enough as well, so they got our YSU table and placed the ladder on it. I was so scared the weight of the two guys would collapse the table. Watching this guy climb up a ladder, resting on a rocky table, and trying to tighten live electrical wires very high up a power pole, while an angry swarm of bees surrounded his face was terrifying.
I was sure someone was going to die.
Luckily they didn't die, but when they climbed down the bees had followed them. Because of the protection I had made them, they were not getting stung, but they couldn't take anything off due to all the angry bees trying to sting them.
So they asked me to spray them with mortien fly spray to help get rid of the bees.

Bad move.

All the bees came onto me, and I went away with four bee stings, including two to the face.
In the end we realized it wasn't even our cable that was the problem, but a local electrical problem that got fixed the next day.
Lesson learnt, ask your immediate neighbors first if they are experiencing the same problem before you assume it is just a problem with your house.

Another interesting story that happened this week involves something a little bit more dark.
Farook and I went for a big bike ride up the near by mountain here. A lot of the way up is mostly bush and forest, but we passed a bit of a clearing and I saw some small round brick structures, that looked like huts, that had been built.
I thought it was were someone lived and wanted to have a better look at it, and when I asked Farook if we could go in, he stood back in fear and shook his head saying "I can't go there".
He told me that this is where the drumming comes from.

Every Saturday night you can hear distant tribal drumming coming from the mountain, and it is basically a traditional African spiritual ceremony.
The ceremony involves sacrificing animals to the spirits/demons to try and get blessings from them.
There are still many people involved in witch craft here, as the mentality of needing to appease the spirits run deep in African society.
Often these ceremonies are associated with child sacrifice and other brutal, evil things.
So the little houses I was looking at (only big enough to just squeeze a person into) are actually homes that the witch doctors build for the demons. And each small hut is meant to house a spirit, where each Saturday night they go to bring blood sacrifices too.
It was a little creepy looking at the structures and knowing what goes on in them, but honestly, with my world view, I didn't feel so afraid or struck with terror, as I have a high view of God's sovereignty over evil.
It was interesting that Farook seemed too paralyzed with fear to go close to those structures, and most Ugandan Christians would have the same reaction.
A lot of this stems from the culture which has a dualism type of world view similar to what the Greeks had. This world view teaches that good and evil (or Satan and God) are in battle and at odds against each other, with an equal standing as they try and win against the other.
A lot of the time this world view still resides in the church here, and because of their tradition, people are still paralyzed with fear, and also fascinated, with evil spirits.
The Christian world view would say that good and evil are not at odds against each other, but that God and his goodness is sovereign over evil, and sovereign over evil spirits, and He actually uses evil in the world for the ultimate good and glory in the end.
It is a grand tapestry we will never fully understand in this life.
So we left those little huts alone, and Farook and I had some interesting talks about this as we continued up the mountain. But it was a reminder that the fear of evil spirits is still something very strong in christian communities in Uganda.

To switch gears to things more lighter, Aggie is trying to get her passport this week. It is a bit of a process due to needing to get five different signatures from local leaders .. who often want a bribe (for no reason) just to put their signature down (even though your doing everything by the books)
So prayers for Aggie as she goes about this complicated process would be appreciated.

Thank you again for all the support and love people have been sending me and God bless.

Honeymoon

So Aggie and I have just got back from our honeymoon! which was a great time of relaxing and not doing too much.
After the chaos of organizing and completing an African introduction and wedding, we felt about ready for a holiday, and being on the beautiful white beaches of Mombasa was a perfect place to unwind.
We used this time to really just rest, and not feel pressured to do anything.

I was certainly excited to swim in the ocean again! And I was very proud of Agnes, who after seeing the ocean the first time in her life, jumped into the waves and played around like a little child on their first visit to the beach.
Of course she clinged tightly onto my back, due to the huge waves (as she saw them) rolling into the shore (less then 1ft and barely surfable .. I suppose if you have never seen waves before they might seem scary haha)

The hotel was nice as well, and there were plenty of monkeys running around, trying to steal food. We actually had one monkey jump onto our back veranda, and then sneak straight past us into our room through the open door! It smashed around our room until it found the complementary sugar and milk powder, that it obviously was aware of.
I tried to be manly and go and grab it, but it bared its teeth at me, so I grabbed the tv remote and chased it out of the room.
We made sure to watch the open door from then on.

It was interesting how Aggie and I got lots of strange looks from people staying in the hotel. Often when we were asked where we were from you would get asked "what good business is in Uganda".
This was due to everyone being used to white men coming to Kenya to make big money in some sort of business venture and getting themselves an African girlfriend/mistress.
So they usually seemed surprised, and raised an eye, when we would reply that we were married and were not business people, but missionaries.

We did see a lot of old white men with baby faced, teenage looking African girls. Some of the girls barely looking past the age of 17.
Aggie and I really try not to judge, and we always laugh and make up stories saying "Maybe they are missionaries too, and she is his adopted daughter" .. but usually the scantly dressed clothing and suggestive body language says otherwise.
It is sad to see though, and something I have often seen in places around Asia.

We were staying an hour out of Mombasa on the coast, so one day we took a tour through Mombasa. We visited old town, where some of the stone foundations date back as far as 2000 years ago. The place is full of history, and we saw the place where the first missionary to East Africa lived, as well as the place where the bible was translated into Swahili.
Mombasa has always been a melting pot for different cultures, and evidence and memories from so many cultures can be found.
It was also a vital place for the African slave trade, with many thousands of slaves passing through the town before being shipped away to the Arab world for a tragic life of slavery.
It was fascinating to see fort Jesus as well. The fort was constructed by the Portuguese over 400 years ago, to protect their strategic place on the East coast of Africa to help build their empire. Often (especially with the Portuguese) missionary work and colonialism, more or less, went together (though this is not always the case, I have read stories of faithful European missionaries who loved the local people and were opposed to the cruelties of colonialism). The fort had seen many wars and battles in its years as well.
How interesting to know a place of war was named after the prince of peace. I remember reading a book on African Christianity, and how Christianity never really took a hold in Mombasa during these times. The reason being that the Portuguese (with the help of Fort Jesus) had sealed the stamp that Christianity was not a peaceful religion, and went hand in hand in empire building.
It is easy to look back into history and think about how often we have 'got it wrong' and failed to represent Jesus accurately. But we have to be careful not to think that we don't do the same thing today! Does the Christian West still accurately portray Jesus? A good question to ask ourselves sometimes.

Mombasa city itself had a strange feel to it. We really didn't spend much time in it, but from the stories I have heard about the place, and just standing in some areas, you get the feel of a place that is a bit of a spiritual war zone.
I have heard stories of the church being persecuted in Mombasa, as well as other suggestions of 'make sure you play it safe there'.

When we first arrived, our taxi driver from the airport started telling us all these stories about Mombasa that was not really giving Agnes a comforting welcome.
The first thing he did that raised Agnes' eyebrows was point to a rundown ghetto looking apartment building and state that "many Al-shabaab terrorists are hiding in that building".
Al-shabaab is an infamous extremist Muslim terrorist group here in East Africa. They have links with al-qaeda and have been quite notorious over the years for bombings, shootings, kidnappings and executions. They originate in Somalia and are very vicious, often murdering and executing Christians and other moderate Muslims in terrible ways.
They were responsible for a number of attacks on Ugandan soil, so people in Uganda (and most of Africa) are well aware of them.
So Agnes raised an eyebrow or two hearing their name.
Our driver also pointed to a church about 30 minutes from our hotel that was all boarded up and run down. He told us that Al-shabaab had recently stormed the church and shot a bunch of people there, only a few months ago.
We then passed a burnt out building near our hotel, apparently a disco, that had recently been bombed with a grenade by Al-shabaab.
So with all these little stories I was wondering how Agnes was feeling haha.

To top it off when we reached the ferry that takes our car to the south coast of Mombasa, our driver told us another story that had Agnes feeling a bit sick.
Agnes is already scared of water and cannot swim, so she was feeling strange being on a big ferry that crosses a deep water passage, while carrying a bunch of cars on it.
Our driver started to tell us that some years back, one of the ferries was overloaded and sank, killing about 300 people.
Not something you say to the girl who is just visiting, is scared of water, and crossing on the ferry for the first time.

Luckily we didn't drown, or were a part of any terrorist attacks, especially being in our out of the way and safe hotel. But with all these stories, and more that I have heard over the years, it did feel that Mombasa is a battle ground for peoples souls.

I often wonder if living in such a place would only strengthen and enhance your faith! And the lure of building the kingdom in such a place can often be strong for me.
But right now my calling is in Uganda, and I have a wife who is quite happy to leave it like that for some time haha.

So we are back here in Uganda now, after a long day traveling. We feel refreshed and ready to start the real work of marriage life. We already have big moves to make and adjustments with Agnes moving into my home.
Already I can feel the difference of married life, in that everything is a joint decision. The comfort of having Agnes by my side is lovely and I look forward to her partnership .. but we also recognize the hard work we are going to have to put in.

We thank everyone again for all their support and love during this time in our lives.
God bless you all.

Introduction, wedding and honeymoon

Hello all!
I have to apologize that is has taken me almost a month to write up a blog.
The last few weeks have been very full on and busy with sickness, organizing ceremonies, spending time with family, and getting married.
The last time I wrote in my blog I was requesting prayer for Aggie as she was sick with typhoid! Luckily after a day and night in the hospital she was on her way up. She was still a little bit out of it when she met my family for the first time (unfortunately she couldn't come along to the airport because of her sickness)
But we had a great time talking with my family, showing them around, and having them get to know Agnes a bit.

The week leading up to the introduction was very stressful! There were so many things to organize and so much running around to do.

To add onto the stress was all the cultural protocols that had to be followed! Culture can be god here sometimes, and often things that have only originated in the last 10 years or so, are considered cultural norms that cannot be questioned.
Getting married here means that you have to go through an introduction ceremony where gifts are brought to the brides family, and the man is officially accepted into the family.

The problem is that over the years the expectations on what should be put into ceremonies have gone insane.

You cannot expect to get married unless you have money here! It is a bit of an oppressive system, as many poor couples just cohabit with each other, without family approval (and often in shame for not going through the introduction and wedding) because they just cannot afford the crazy prices expected on them.

Luckily for me I have incredible parents who helped support me so we could do everything the proper cultural way, and be fully accepted by the community and have a 'stamp of approval' on our marriage.
Remember individual wants come second to community wants here.
Though we really did manage to do things fairly conservative compared to the crazy ceremonies some people do here!

Aggie and I budgeted very tightly and got away with spending as little money as we could get away with!
Usually friends and community contribute to help people get married here in Uganda, but one of the cultural struggles Aggie and I had (more so Aggie) was that not many people felt like contributing because they assumed (and outright said to Agnes in some cases) that I was white and therefore 'rich' and we didn't need help.
This hurt Aggie a little bit, who has always supported and helped people who were getting married. The truth is there is no way I could afford the introduction and wedding! I really do not have money to spend like this (I am a missionary after all) But this is where my parents, as well as a few faithful friends on both Aggie's and my side, came in to support us. I also have had lots of support from family and church family back at home (which I give my full thanks and appreciation for).

So the introduction went ahead! It was full of color and crazy dancing.
We rocked up at Agnes' family village at 12.30 midday (half an hour late), only to get stuck in the mud and wait in the rain, due to the wet season kicking in a few days before. Luckily it cleared up a bit, and two hours after schedule the ceremony begun.

It starts with my family, friends and myself (basically a small entourage I bring on my side of about 50 people) dancing into the ceremony and taking special seats reserved for us.
Then a few hours of greetings and dancing and different cultural protocols are followed.
Finally Agnes came out looking like a princes in her traditional Ugandan wear. Although I already had a headache from the blaring speakers and all the stress! I have to admit, if you don't mind me going a bit mushy on you for a second (don't worry it won't happen often) my heart did give a jump when I saw her finally for the first time.

After lots more dancing it was time for the aunties to come and find me. Up to this point, the groom is meant to be hiding among his posse, and the aunties go and find him. Everyone pretends they don't know who the groom is, but it is fairly obvious seeing as I am the only young white guy there.
After they picked me and screams of joy were heard across the function, I was then stood up, made to dance in front of everyone, and brought to a special seat of honor. I was then allowed to have my older sister Carlee on one side, and my best man, Farook, on the other, which was nice to have some familiar support.
My two sisters then did a special presentation, where they danced up to Agnes and presented her with gifts, and spoke on my behalf to her.

The rest of the day was filled with more tiring traditional protocols and strange customs, that for the most part, us whiteys had no idea about!
At one point I had to hold a giant roster and give it to Agnes' brother to ask for permission for him to give Agnes over to me (even though Aggie and I were already legally married). Farook as the best man was always by my side, and the person helping me out with everything. Farook had the job of grabbing the rooster for me and handing it over to me, to hand over to Agnes' brother. He just so happened to grab the most powerful looking rooster and there was a moment there, when the rooster started jerking and flapping, that I thought I was going to drop it and embarrass myself (and possibly everyone involved in the function .. that's how things go here).

Luckily everything went smooth and I survived the day. We also had a massive feast before we left in the dark!
It was a very tiring day, and stressful to say the least, but it was great to know the biggest and hardest part of this traditional wedding was over.
That night I collapsed into bed and slept very well.

Some of the crowd awaiting us.

Agnes looking like an African queen,

Carlee and Ashlee (in traditional dresses) pick out Agnes

Feeling a bit nervous

Some of my guests.

Agnes dancing her little heart out.

Handing over the rooster.

The new couple being introduced.

Photo taken of the family before leaving my home.

So that leaves me with the wedding.

The week before the wedding was mixed with joy and sadness. Agnes and I had a lot of beautiful moments spent with the family, as well as Andrew and Rachel who joined us on most things. Agnes started to get more familiar with my family, feeling comfortable in their presence and building the best relationship possible within two weeks.
The sadness comes with the fact that my pa (grandfather on my dads side) passed away in that week. My pa has been suffering from Alzheimer disease for a long time. His situation had deteriorated over the last year a lot, but he took a turn for the worse about a week before my parents came. It was painful to not be there, especially for Beppa (grandmother), and I especially felt for my Dad, as he was torn between the emotions of the death of his father, and the first wedding of one of his children.
Even through the sadness we found peace! We know that my Pa is resting with the Lord. I have a piece of writing that I wrote during this time to go back to family and friends at home. And perhaps in the days to follow I will post this piece of writing of remembrance to my pa on this blog.

Luckily the last few days leading up to the wedding I was able to relax with my family, as most things has been prepared. I also had some great friends supporting me, especially my friend William, who helped drive and do all the shopping with me for the ceremonies. And Ron and Anne who let us borrow their pickup to carry around all the huge amounts of food.

The night before the wedding Aggie and I were able to have a lovely meal at two friends with my family, and Andrew and Rachel (who were also adopted family members during this time haha)
It was so nice to be able to have one final meal with everyone before the big day set in, and the bride and groom would be to busy to sit and talk.

The wedding day started with beautiful weather, which was a real blessing because we had been worried about all the recent rain. I had my groomsmen come to my house as we all got ready. I was feeling nervous, but it was good to have my close friends Farook and Ivan there, as well as my brother Jirawatt, who were all apart of the groomsmen.
The groomsmen and I arrived to the church on time, but in true African fashion Agnes and her maids were an hour late, getting their makeup and hair done at the bridal saloon.

So us men nervously waited in the car. It ended up being ok though, seeing as many prominent family, friends and people didn't come on time and were filing into the church while we were waiting in the car. After an hour past the scheduled time, the women finally came, and us men did our walk down the aisle.
It was such a surreal feeling walking into that church! In true African fashion there was screaming and shouting and cheering and dancing from all our friends and family, as we marched in to the African Gospel choir singing away.

It was beautiful walking down and seeing so many close friends and loved ones from over here in Africa, so happy that I was getting married.

Then the moment we had all been waiting for as the maids and Agnes walked down the aisle. Agnes was walked down the aisle by her two brothers on both side of her, which was really nice. You could see that her brothers were both so proud and happy for Agnes.

The ceremony was really nice, and even though everyone was sweating like pigs in the hot church building, Andrew did a really good job running the show (even though underneath his suit jacket, he was swimming in a wet shirt haha)
Everything went fine, as we exchanged vows, rings and of course a big kiss!
Aggie did almost faint towards the end of the service though. Due to a combination of her not sleeping the night before, not getting enough to eat in the morning, wearing a very heavy dress, being in a hot church building, and recovering from typhoid, she almost collapsed. Luckily friends where fast to get her a seat and some water, as she sat down for the remainder of the service.

After dancing out of the church, and lots of photos with family out the front, we were whisked away to the source of the Nile for our wedding photos!

The reception was also a very colorful one, although it went on for some time. In true African fashion there was so much dancing, and many speeches. Of course it also involved some cultural protocols I was not aware of, and of course had to follow, with much laughing from the audience. In true Ugandan fashion, some politician came to speak who we didn't know. I was told we were so blessed to have a minister (politician) speak at our wedding ... but I really couldn't of cared less. Saying your a politician does not impress me, how you live your life impresses me. And seeing as we had no relationship with this man, I was not overly feeling the blessing (but maybe that was tiredness and the thought of getting out of the already going overtime reception ceremony)

Some highlights of the reception include long dancing gift lines, where people brought huge amounts of gifts to us, the yummy food, having some random guy that nobody knew sing a song in front of everyone while dressed completely as a women, and the Village of Hope children doing a few traditional African dances for us.

It was also a highlight seeing my family get up and dance to Dolly Parton (at least I think it was Dolly, and I am not sure why the DJ played that) and especially seeing my Dad have a dance.

The ceremony finally finished just as it got dark! And after giving our speeches, it was time for Aggie and I to say good bye to everyone.

So another 20 minutes of goodbyes and we were whisked away to begin our honeymoon. It was a sad time to say goodbye to my family, but joyous to be with my new wife. The words of Genesis rang true "A man shall leave his mother and father and hold fast to his wife". Especially as I hugged my parents goodbye, knowing I wont see them again for a long time, and went off to start my marriage with my new wife.

So it was a beautiful wedding, although a long one. It was great to have the support of all my family and friends. I thank everyone who helped and was involved.
God bless you for everything.

And now Aggie and I are relaxing on the beach in Mombasa for our honeymoon! I will write up a separate blog on our honeymoon another time, and just leave you with these wedding photos.

If you would like to see some more pictures, you can check out some pictures my friend Rachael took here.
https://www.facebook.com/rachsilvester/media_set?set=a.10152055493981526.1073741833.660496525&type=1

Prayer request

So just over 5 days till Agnes and I have our traditional Ugandan ceremony.
Most things are in place and my family arrive here tomorrow.

This blog post is mainly just a prayer request. Agnes has been really sick, starting from last Friday. She was falsely diagnosed with malaria but after her sickness got more severe I took her to the good hospital here and it seems she has a strong case of typhoid.
She can barely speak, and she can't walk straight without someone helping her. Typhoid can be very nasty and really knock someone around. The doctor says she will start feeling better in 5 days or so, but our introduction is in 6 days, and we have things to organize soon, as well as spend time with my family who are only in Uganda for 2 weeks.
It is such a shame because Aggie and I were going to pick my family up from the airport tomorrow, but she may have to be admitted into the hospital if she gets worse and the tablets don't work fast enough.
We were really excited about her seeing my family for the first time, but it will just have to wait.

The worry is typhoid can be tricky to treat (it took me 2 months to heal) we don't have 2 months .. but only 6 days before our Ugandan ceremony and 13 days till our wedding.

So prayers for Aggie would be appreciated, during this stressful time, because it is really the worst time to get seriously ill with all our preparations underway.

Thank you to all who send prayers her way.

Marriage preparations and Easter celebrations.

Our marriage preparations are truly on the way!

Its been great having my friends wanting to chip in and help in all the running around and shopping required. Wilson, a friend of mine, helped drive Agnes and I around yesterday to do the shopping for the food that will be used in the introduction ceremony.
It is only a few weeks to go now, and I think a few of my friends were realizing I was doing a lot of these tasks by my own, and so they insisted they needed to help me.
And now that they have been helping, I am so glad I have them! I actually realize now that I couldn't do lots of this stuff without them.
Aggie and I have spent a lot of the last few weeks in town, preparing for everything, paying deposits on things and doing lots of shopping.
We really want to get most things done and out of the way for when my family comes in less then two weeks, so we can spend quality time with them without being too stressed.

We do get to spend a few times here and there having a nice lunch out eating pork! (And making ninja masks using straw wrappers)

With only a few weeks to go I have been reflecting/reading/studying on marriage. Agnes and I really are excited! We can't wait to start a life together.
I was thinking about if I had any fears or doubts about entering into a life long covenant. I have to say I am fully ready to embrace all of it! And can't wait. I think I have a realistic view of marriage from all the input I have had from people/books over the months, but I also have a firm believe in placing trust in God to carry us through.

The only fear that I seem to have, is a rather new emotion.  I realize now I have this great treasure and gift, and this new treasure I have comes with the realization that it can be lost in the reality of a world with death.
That may sound a bit grim .. but it is a genuine new emotion of fear that I have entering into this marriage.
I guess it may be the same feeling that a parent could have the first time they have a child.

When you are given a gift so great, the thought of it ever being lost can be scary.

But the reality in my life that the greatest treasure of Jesus can never be lost, and is eternally secure, is the hope and joy that carries you through the fears of life.

I once heard a quote that said "In the end everything will be alright, and if it is not alright, then it is not the end"

How true that rings when faith is put in the Creator! So Aggie and I enter into this marriage with all its hopes, expectations, anticipations and concerns with a trust and hope that is held together by God.

Last Sunday I had the lovely privilege of joining in the the village of hope for their Easter lunch.
We had an amazing meal of chicken, beef, chapatis, potatoes, matoke, rice and pineapples. I watched as formerly destitute and broken children danced, laughed, ate and played.
Sometimes when you are exposed constantly to life over here, some of the miracles and beautiful changed lives can become the norm, and not effect you as they did when you first came.
How strange that the heart can become dull and numb sometimes. And its never something that you realize has just happened one day, it creeps up on you slowly.
But how beautiful when God allows you a little insight and reflection on the reality of a broken life being made whole, and His beauty and light pierces your heart.
As I looked around at the many little lives in the process of being made whole, I had to give thanks to God. These are just a few lives that would not be where they are today if it wasn't for Christ like love. What a God we have who holds a special place in His heart for the destitute, broken, poor and oppressed and then chooses to use His children to show and spread that love.

What a special way to spend Easter.

God bless

Ponderings on the spiritual state and future of the church.

It is an interesting thing to dwell on “The spiritual state and future of the church” in the country you have been called to be a missionary in. 

But having a fond interest in society, history and its repeated cycles (especially in the context of Christianity) I can’t help but wonder aloud at where Uganda’s church may be headed.

I write this with tired eyes after being kept awake all night by the local Anglican church (which has more of a charismatic feel to it) who ran an ‘Easter special’ overnight prayer and worship service.

I once read an article that said in the Congo, brothels where calling up the police and complaining about local churches making too much noise all night. The article was showing an ironic twist that in Africa the church has more passion and fun during the night then the brothels. Although living next to many churches I can see a different side to it, and although I do not advocate for brothels in anyway, perhaps I can feel a little bit of their pain.

I noticed the Anglican Church setting up around 6.00 pm on Friday. They had hired some great big monstrous speakers for their overnight affair. I felt a pang of worry as I saw them set the giant speakers up outside, facing towards the community, instead of inside towards the church.

As expected it was impossible to sleep during the night, as the loud speakers pulsated their singing, chanting and strange wild animal noises (the charismatic flavor to the Anglican Church) right across the local village, and right into my bedroom.

I had wrote a rather sarcastic comment on my facebook page early this morning about “representing Jesus in the quest to love your neighbor as yourself” .. But after pondering on the fact that the post was written in a spirit of smugness and some sort of ineffective revenge, I had to remove it.

Sometimes the self-conviction of being a follower of Jesus can be hard.

But the issue still remains. Overnight prayer meetings are fantastic for sure! But the attitude of “you’re going to hear us worship all night whether you like it or not” towards the outside community has you wondering ‘what spirit of Christ is this?’

I believe it stems from a deeper issue within the church here in Uganda. One that follows rules, customs and actions that say “I am a good Christian, can’t you see”. Yet it can sometimes seem like a church culture very devoid of the Christ shown in scriptures.

And believe me, as a youth worker here, I can see it is something the next generation are starting to pick up on.

Often history repeats itself and I can’t help but see similarities with what has happened to the church (or Christendom for that matter) in the west, or mainly the U.S, and what may slowly happen here.

Uganda's church could be compared to the church in the west a few decades ago. It’s rather easy to be a Christian in Uganda. Pastors are still held with a high level of respect, even above others (which I must say dangerously leads to people aiming to be a pastor for the wrong reasons). No one will mock you or ridicule you on your Christian beliefs of salvation, sexuality, or the afterlife. And the name of Jesus would most likely be heard more than once during the day (and not in a swear word may I add).

Yet as often, this highly Christianized state can be lacking in Christ like mindedness.

Just like in the 90’s in America, the prosperity gospel is rampant! I have so often heard pastors claiming things like
“If you just place your hand on your chest, and declare prosperity, health and wealth over your life, In Jesus name, all your hearts desires will be granted to you by God”

Where such teaching can be found in the scriptures, I am still struggling to find.

The incredibly dangerous thing about this gospel, that perhaps wrecks more havoc here in Africa then in America, is the fact that people are living in abject poverty. Everyone wants to hear the prosperity gospel here! The lie that if you just accept Jesus, everything will go the way you want it.
It is a doctrine that encourages idolatry and is sure to disappoint and leave a bitter taste in people’s mouths when they realize that they are still living as the poorest people in the world.

Perhaps they would best be taught the truth of scripture that says “One of the great hopes of this present life in Christ, is not that in following Jesus everything will go your way! But that through your suffering Jesus is enough to sustain you no matter the circumstances”

And more than that, perhaps these great prosperity preachers with their big crusades and flashy cars may best represent Jesus by laying down their life for the poor, instead of exploiting them.

I have to keep in mind that it is always easy to judge others, without first looking at your own heart and trying to clean up the selfish greed and mess within oneself.

But still, it can’t help but be noticed (especially by the younger generation) that this movement of charismatic prosperity churches are rife with sexual and financial scandals. Whether a pastor has impregnated ten young girls in his church, or has stolen money from the widows fund, I have heard it all.

And lastly, the one which really pushes away the youth, is the self-righteous legalism that runs rampant. If you are a sinner (that includes anyone who drinks, smokes, listens to secular music or has sex) you will be vilified and humiliated by the 'oh so righteous' pharisees whose sins are swept under the carpet (which include greed for money and power, self-righteousness, hypocrisy and harsh judgement)

I can’t help but see the similarities to what has happened in the church in the west, to what may happen in the future of Uganda.

The west has shaken loose its shackles of Christendom (and I do not necessarily think this is a bad thing) and many people, fed up with the behaviors they have seen, have walked away from the church and Christianity with ‘justified’ frustration. But tragically they have walked away from the eternal life giving hope of Jesus, all in the supposed name of liberation. And perhaps we as the church have some serious explaining to do as a result of this.

Recently I saw a humorous (yet a bit dark) quote on facebook that said “Those who don’t study history are doomed to repeat it. Yet those who do study history are doomed to stand by helplessly while everyone else repeats it”

Is that what will happen with the church in Uganda? Will the same thing happen with the next generation? Especially when they become more and more westernized and are influenced by outside ideas.

This post has a large negative stream to it, but I believe there is still hope. Of course that is what the Christian life thrives on.

Hope.

Jesus said two thousand years ago that he was going to build his church “and the gates of Hades will not overcome it”.
The Christendom church here may eventually grow weaker, but in doing so, a purging and purifying act may happen.

It may make the Christians left, more Christ-like then before.

Although I do see many dissatisfied youth with the church as they have experienced it, I still see a deep longing and desire for God.

I run a bible study class here every second Sunday, and so often it gets filled with passionate youth yearning to learn what the bible has to teach. I don’t provide any bowls of snacks, or soft drinks, or fun activities to start the session of with, just pure solid teaching touching on some of the heavier and deeper topics of faith. And yet they come! How different to the seeker sensitive youth culture of the west.

I see young people who are desperate for the truth of Christ in scriptures, who want a life that is wholly submitted to him, instead of some outside appearance of a good Christian girl or boy.

Instead they want Jesus as their treasure! They want heart transformation, not trivial behavioral alignment.

They want the meat of scripture, not continuous distorted milk being fed to them.

And then I see a handful of faithful pastors of truth and integrity. Men who may have nothing to offer by the worlds standards, but have a deep passion to teach what is right, and to live by what is right.

I see Christ centered NGO's and schools, that conduct themselves with honesty, love and compassion.

I see many passionate people who may be vulnerable to being led astray, yet if taught with truth and love, will have the seed of spiritual growth nurtured and watered in their hearts.

As tattered as the church may be, there is always hope.

I once heard Tony Campolo give a controversial quote. He said “The church is a whore, but she is my mother”

With all her faults and unfaithfulness the church is still the one that has carried this glorious message of the gospel throughout the generations.

We may do well to look into our own hearts, and see the religious self-righteousness that dwells in all of us, and that must be fought daily with scripture, prayer and acts of love and grace.

After all, the body is made up of a people on this side of glory. We will still sin and make mistakes. And that is why we need the Gospel, that is why we need the blood of Jesus to purify us. Not one of us is without sin, and so we strive for truth and love as we recognize our own salvation and rescue from our sinful hearts and the deserving punishment.

The church, to some on the outside world, may look like she is wearing the garments of a whore, but because of the blood of Christ, He will cloth her with His righteous robes. He will prepare His bride to be the glory and splendor that He has been working on since the beginning of man.